"On the lonely bench.."

I usually have pictures of Lord Krishna on my desktop. I keep changing the pictures once in a while. This week I have a new desktop wallpaper. This is a photogragh taken by one of my blog friends, Dhanya. I loved the snap at first sight itself. Now that I have it on my desktop, I am falling in love with it each moment. This photograph brings a torrent of emotions to my mind.

A lonely bench..Under the vast blue sky...Among the green grass.

Is it me who sits there on that bench?.....

Am I alone or is there someone sitting along with me?....

Am I facing the green planes or am I facing the depths beyond the cliff?....

I wonder what I would be thinking when I sit alone on a bench like that?.....

I don't know whether I would think of the past with fond rememberances and say "What's happened, happened for good" and look forward to more peaceful times like these. I could probably sing one of those old sentimental Hindi Songs too. Or else would my mind turn to the back and look at the cliff below. Would I feel that a jump from this bench would solve a lot of problems, could elevate me to eternal happiness...Maybe this thought may cross my mind if I sit on the bench for a long time but otherwise "Na".. I am too strong to not face life on its face!

Amblee Resort (check photo link on right )

I have not been complaining of nothing happening in life since a long time. With my sister’s marriage rush during the last 2 months I was fully occupied. However there was a certain joy when we decided to go to “Amblee Resorts” from office.

Amblee Resort is a quiet little place on the way to Mysore on the banks of River Cauvery. It’s actually very close to Mysore, maybe just 15kms to Mysore from there. The riverside was one of the best features of the resort. I could count off food and service as “adjustable” but the scenery was definitely soothing and refreshing.

I always spend a few hours to myself during the weekend. Those few hours are what pull me through the weekend. I hate sacrificing those precious hours for anything in the world. There were just three girls on this trip (better than the ones when I am the only girl :) however). There was so much of activity through out the day that I really didn’t get my time.

Therefore, as always on trips, I got up early morning and went to the riverside. This was a great experience. I listened to the water flowing across the small rocks. I watched the birds as they flew over the water. I watched the sun rise slowly and the skies turn red to blue. The early morning peace is irreplaceable. I realized that small things around you are so beautiful and matchless. I loved that hour I spent to myself. Then again there came my colleagues and back to fun filled time with others!

Article written for Women's Day@ HP

Date : March 8, 2008
Venue : A flat in the middle of Bangalore City
Time : 9 am
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It’s just another Saturday morning at the Koshi residence. Grandma is sitting at the dining table with her favourite rosary in hand. Margaret (Maggie) is applying the final touches to her overdone makeup while her daughter Simi lay lazily on the sofa watching Channel V.

Grandma : Simi, why don’t you at least brush your teeth and wash your face as soon as you wake up. Hasn’t your mom taught you anything at all?? Why are these kids like this, God? Why don’t you tell her something Margaret?

(Simi raises the volume of the TV and turns the other way unconcerned)

Maggie : Ma, How many times have I asked you not to interfere in what Simi does? Let her be. It’s Saturday and no school today. And how many times have I told you not to call me Margaret? Not that I mind you calling me that when alone but you use the same in front of my friends too! What a boring name!

Grandma : I regret the day we came to live with Philip in this wretched city. Margaret turns Maggie, “Ammachi” became Ma, all I hear is vehicles honking through the day and night and no one has any time. I miss my small village in Kuttanaad.

(She pauses remembering Kuttanad)

Maggie : Ma, Bangalore is the reason for what we are today. We would be still looking after Dad’s poultry farm if back in Kuttanaad. I work for a reputed MNC. I earn along with my husband. I am financially independent and we manage a good education for Simi too.

Grandma : Education?? What is it you call education? Look at her watching all those scantily dressed men and women moving their legs and hands on TV , in front of her elders with no shame. She speaks loudly in front of her father and wears all these short clothes too.

Maggie : She wears what she finds comfortable and suits this weather. You don’t expect her to wear a saree when she goes to meet her friends in this heat.

Grandma : True, I don’t expect her to do that because her mother herself has shifted to wearing salwar kameez from saree. Like mother, like daughter. By the way, where are you going wearing so much powder so early?

Maggie : Didn’t I tell you I have to attend the Kitty Party at Lata’s house? I would be staying back for lunch. All your food is in the refrigerator. All you have to do is cook some rice. I’ll be home by tea.

Grandma : Oh no! Are we eating yesterday’s food again? When will I eat some fresh food in this house? Do you even remember the time you cooked last?

Maggie : Stop complaining, ma! How do you expect me to cook daily when I have to go to work? I get home late as well due to all this traffic. Moreover both Philip and Simi are “ok” with this setup, why can’t you adjust?

Grandma : They are fine with this because they have no other option. Your dad would never eat the previous day’s food neither would I let him to. That’s why we were healthy always. I looked after him when he was alive and don’t behave like you and Philip who compromise on everything, like friends. Look at the food you eat! Burgers, Pizza, all good for nothing! See how fat Simi is getting eating all this. How will you get her married if she grows like this?

Maggie : This is something I agree with. Simi, dear, it’s time you have a check on what you eat!

(Simi sprang up with a growl on her face)

Simi : Mom, Will you ask Veliyammachi to stop talking? Firstly both of you keep blabbing and don’t allow me to watch TV and now she’s talking about me growing fat! Chill people, give me my space. I’m out of here. Mom, I’m going to Ravi’s place to watch TV in peace. I’m not staying in here with Veliyammachi alone! (She fumes out throwing the remote)

Grandma : What! She’s going to some guy’s house! And you are not saying anything? What will become of this world? Oh God!

Maggie : Ma, it’s ok! They are our family friends since years. Don’t worry! I’m also leaving. Don’t forget the food in the refrigerator. (She picks up her handbag to leave)

Grandma settles on the sofa and switches to Asianet. There appears a young girl wishing all the women a “Happy Women’s Day”! Grandma sighs as she ponders through all the phases of womanhood she had been through and what she saw today before her eyes through her daughter and grand daughter. She thinks aloud, “What’s so ‘Happy’ about all this? Sigh!!”

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Note : Women’s Rights and Women’s Freedom is something very individualistic and varies through generations too. The women of today don’t share the same ideologies that the previous generation believed in. We may have different views on why and how to celebrate Women’s Day. I wouldn’t debate on any view proposed. Let’s just celebrate “Womanhood” today !

Wedding aftermaths!

The wedding's over. I am back in Bangalore. I had no track of time when I was at home. So much to do and so little time. It all seemed a mad rush. Now that it's over I get the space to think over what happened in the past week. It all happened so fast. My sister introduced the idea at home, a visit by my parents to Hyderabad, engagement on Jan 21 and wedding a month later.

The wedding was hectic. It was a coming together of two different cultures and their respective rituals but all was well at the end of the day. The wedding was a huge learning for me. It put me face to face with a lot of facts that I chose to ignore all this while.

I realise that the people who stand next to you may not be the people you expect. It is easy to stand beside someone with talk, but supporting the person with action is very difficult. It becomes even more amazing when these are people who put aside all differences you have had with them over the years. I was touched by selflessness.

I also realise today that money is not something that rules the world. Relations and mutual understandings are all that matter at the end. There were a lot of trusts that were broken and a lot of new hopes that were made during this wedding. I have started to respect some people like I have never before and am happy for this wedding to be the cause for it!

I always lived in the premonition that love required a language that connects. I thought I could not love a person who never spoke my language. Seeing my sister and husband blissfully wed I broke that thinking. English has truly become a global language!

Anyways the wedding's over and I feel a strange peace now. I hope my sis has a happy married life!!

Happy Valentine's Day

Oh it's the day of love again!! There might be not much for me as an individual in this day but I have always loved the day from the time I knew about it!!It all seems like a long time to me now but the memories are sure sweet. There was once the hard core romantic in me who lived within Shah Rukh Khan movies. The character "Maya" that Madhuri potrayed in "Dil tho Pagal Hai" movie was absolutely me. I lived in a world of fantasy where everything around me was full of love and beauty. Just like her I believed there would be a "Sapno ka Raajkumar" who would come on that white horse some day. I believed in the fact that there is a "Mr. Right" somewhere out there!

Most of my "love" thoughts at those times were governed by films as life revolved between just school and parents. Life has come a long way since then. Now that I am in the so called "real" world I definitely don't believe that there is a "Mr. Perfect". There are hardly any guys out there who match that matrimonial "wanted" profile.

At those times love was the dreamy picture of a perfect guy to me. Now it is more of understanding the person who is with you and accepting the person for the guy he is. I have a friend who tells me that the very thing he doesn't like about having a girlfriend is that they are all nice during the first days when love is just blooming. But once the proposal is made then it is all about trying to change him and making him the perfect guy!

So for all those people out there who are in love, "All the best"! Cherish your love and accept it as it is. "Jo thumhe badalkar pyaar kare, wo pyaar nahi saahibaan"... Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Shopping, shopping and more shopping!

I never knew shopping could be so tiring. It has taken me a week to recover from the wedding shopping we did last week. Two short days and lots of shopping. Walking around, checking out stuff and buying loads of clothes. It was then I realised how many relatives I have and how much of shopping we had to do!

But then like all girls I loved those two days. Picturising what would look best on who, whether they would like it, wondering how to carry stuff, thinking what to wear on which day and so on! I bet my mom was the appiest woman on earth that day. I always say-Leave my mom in Shivaji Nagar bazaar with money in her hand she would never find a better way to spend a day!

Meanwhile I discovered a lovely saree shopping place, Nalli silks. I had always heard of the place and seen it on ads but was marvelled by the place. Sarees of all prices and all varieties. Any woman's fantasy. We bought the wedding and reception saree from here. The moment I cast my eyes on those sarees I knew it was "Love at first Sight"!! Great place to do a wedding shopping.

There's just a week to go and I feel there is so much more to do. It's slowly dawning on me that the moment is so near...

Oh!! Those boring conversations...

I am doing a special thesis over some weeks and the topic is “How to handle boring conversations?”

There seem to be people all over these days and thanks to the Airtel commercial they really believe that all problems can be sorted out by talking. So they begin conversations out of the blue that you just don’t want to be a part of. I have been thinking about ways to get out of these for a long, long time and here are some I think work:

• Say “Oh please! Not this topic again. I have been discussing this all week.” That kind of puts off people and stop blabbing!
• Suddenly act as if your mobile phone in vibration mode is ringing and you are in some serious talk over the phone. (Caution : Make sure your phone is in “Silent” through out the conversation.)
• Act as if you want to use the rest room. (Ha ha..no one can question you here!)
• Start talking about totally disconnected topics that diverts interests.
• If it is a talk that you don’t have to respond to, then just look at the person and keep thinking of other “interesting” topics.

I am still thinking of more methods but alas here starts off one more of those “leading to nowhere” talks.

P.S : Please give me some tested tips ;)

I am supplementing this case with more inputs from others around me.

• Concentrate hard on your computer screen or anything else all of a sudden.
• Just remain quiet and don't comment. Maybe put up an awkward smile. The other person might just stop!