Nightlife in Bangalore and New Year

I went for a movie on Christmas night along with my friends to Innovative Complex in Marthahalli. this is a half an hour drive away from the place I live. Now let's get more specific, this was a group of 6 guys and me one girl (yeah yeah...I just land up with guys as friends most times). Now on a general note this should have been great for me, any girl's dream, 6 guys and just me. Well, it was. It's nice to be pampered at times. But there were some instances that disturbed me.


After the show, when I stood on the road at 10.30pm I had this creepy feeling in me. I felt as insecure as I feel in Kerala even at 7pm. I knocked my head a couple of times saying"Chill girl..this is the IT hub of India!!" But the knocks didn't help! On the way back home, even the cops gave this kind of suspicious look that degrades you at any point in the day!

I wonder what's wrong with the city. Is nightlife all about call centers, pubs, drunken driving and X rated stuff??? There are loads of stuff I would love to do at night. It would be nice to take a walk on the road, a drive to coffee day on a day of tension, or watch a late night show!! The morale traffic police can do their job. I have no issues against them. But they have no right to go overboard by shouting at people having a juice at the juice shop or sometimes even rushing to take a late flight!! Spare us!!!

What's the use of complaining to extend the deadline on New Year's eve to 1am when we have way to go on a normal day too...Bangalore has miles to go before being truly metropolitan!!

Merry Christmas!!!

It's that time of the year where people go crazy, people make merry and I am the happiest. It's new year again. I never look at the year end with the missing feeling... I remember all the good times that happened throughout the year and look forward to more good times. New Year brings a lot of hope and joys...

So make merry guys, have fun and keep safe for all those people who plan to drink their way into the New Year..till then keep partying!!!

Happy Days!!!

There is something I just could not help mentioning. Yes, for anyone at all who is anxious to know, I had a great weekend. Moreover I am happy these days. There are a lot of reasons for the same. People around me, availability of time to myself and then what I wanted to talk about. This book I have been reading - The Monk who sold his Ferrari.



I love the book. I love each section of it. I have not only read the book but read between the lines too. I feel the difference. Maybe it's not something like a permanent fix. I would still have the usual mood swings for sure, but still at the moment I am happy.

Till now I used to leave it to others around me or the situations I am involved in to make me happy. I slowly realise that there is so much I can do to make myself joyous and that's precicely what I am doing these days. I am keeping myself happy. Substituting each negative thought of mine with a positive one, a thought that makes me feel thaat life is worth living for!

Surely, Life Rocks, guys!!!

Eeeeeeeekkkkkssssssss!!!

It's been a long time I haven't returned to my blog. Yeah, I could reason this too...but well it's my space right!! The reason is very silly according to most people...I missed my weekend!! There were 30 others who were in the same plight but somehow i seem to be affected more than others.

It is always said that whenever we miss something we understand it's importance. I thought we miss people near to us and objects dear to us. I looked forward to weekend most times but never missed them. Last week we had an training program for two days. Both Saturday and Sunday and for 9 hours. Oh no!I have still not recovered from the fact that I did not have a weekend.

I am all cranky at the moment. I feel frustrated. I feel like blasting everyone at small instances. I even feel like taking an off and sitting at home. Don't get the wrong ideas that I have this oh so important work to do in the weekend or out of the world handsome guy i have to meet. Hmm..nothing at all..but I need the weekend to refresh.

I just lay on my bed and think of how I did nothing through out the week. I plan for great things to do during the coming week and then the next week I am back to same square!! but I love it that way. It refreshes me when I think of no work for those 2 days. I am one of those persons who clearly draws the line between personal and professional life. So out of the 9 hours in office, sorry boss I don't think of work!!!

So I am still cranky but then hey ...It's Friday tomorrow. So next Monday a new beginning. I promise myself!!

Confused and bothered!!!

How difficult is it to be difficult from the others? How do you begin when you want to do something that maybe no one has done before? ...

I wonder who made rules that life should be lived like this or like that?

Who said we should work in the day and sleep at night?

Who said we should use money system instead of barter?

Who said children should be in school for the first quarter of their life?

Who said people should get married and then raise the next generation?

I wonder what life was before these so called social norms came into place..The social norms when they were made should have been a revolution on itself, right? How did people start accepting these social norms? What did those people undergo to make this change? Were they accepted or ridiculed in the beginning?

I know all norms are being broken in the 21st century but we hear them as stories across the globe. I wonder how it would me if I had to raise this wave of change? There are many decisions I want to take breaking norms?

Then on a lighter note I do accept norms too. I know there would be chaos if everyone thought the same. But I wish my world could accommodate some changes from my end!!! I hope it would!!!

Puzzled????

How many times have you done something or said something that you think is for good and it has turned out to be the reverse? Well, this could something said maybe just giving it a moment's thought or even after hours and still things go wrong!!! I hate it when that happens. At times I feel there is no need of giving anything a thought at all. When it is concerning people I am not really concerned about..well I should say I don't care(or do I??) But when it is involves people who mean something in my life, I am hurt. More than hurt I am angry at myself thinking why I am so.

Even though empathising, standing in someone else's shoes, all are simple to say, are we able to project ourselves so much that we are able to think what the person in front would react in the situation. I have missed in most occassions frankly. I feel I understand some people but then at times I feel I am with a total stranger. Those scenarios put me off completely. I am not angry at the other person. I am just at dilemma as to why I never understand them.

Happy Diwali!!

Today is Diwali. Thanks to all my Singaporean and Malaysian customers I have an off day today. But alas! What to do with a single day in between and hundreds of collegues applying for that Friday off?? Here I am at office. Now what would I have done if I was not at office is the big question!!

I could have watched a movie...but PVR is going to be worse than city market today. But yes, a grand city market all decked up with lights.

I could have gone shopping....but I have nothing to buy after all the shopping I did at Singapore and Malaysia (yeah, yeah..I can't stop talking about it!)

I could have gone out with friends...but most of them have gone home and the others are celebrating Diwali at home.

I could have spent time sleeping at home...but what to do too many crackers and cracker bombs going "Boom" every minute. I should have some intoxicant to sleep in that noise.

I could watch TV at hostel...but again the volume of the TV can't beat the volume of these "patake".

So here I am at office, watching movies, hanging out with all the jobless at hostel friends (just like me!!), going out to eat for lunch and falling asleep occassionally. In other words office is the place I get to do all of it and have a gala time too..

A new door opens

And now I am back and settled. Now that a week has gone past after the trip I feel settled. the excitement of the trip never died down till this weekend. Narrating stories of the place, laughing over the stupidness we did, just couldn't get over it. Now I feel my legs back on the ground!!

It feels great however. A new sense of belonging that I feel towards the company. I mean.... I was shocked the first time I was told I was chosen. It's not even a year i have been here. I hardly know all the people here very well...and I got chosen to go. I accept it is based on performance etc etc but still the feeling that "Yes they chose me!!" took a long time to sink in.

I know it seems like beating the drums here but the sense of belonging I mentioned has taken me up fully. There is a new dimension in which I look at my team, the issues that come up everyday. I just feel some responsibility towards the entire setup. This feels like taking me into some new dimension. I just hope this is a new beginning!!

Malaysia- Romance in the air!!!

If Singapore was more of shopping and Sentosa Island, Malaysia was more of sightseeing! There were so many places we saw. The best was obviously the Patronus Twin Tower. It was as magnificient as what I read and heard about or maybe more than that. It did bring back the Sep 11 memory to my mind but here stood the towering Patronus in all grandeur.

The Menara tower is the fourth tallest tower in the world. Looking down at the entire city of KL from there is just a thrilling experience. You just can say there were only 3 places in the world that was above me at that time but still I was on top of the world!!

The Batu caves were another lifetime experience. Here we were climbing the 272 steps to reach the opening the cave. There were drops of water trickling from above that seemed like the Gods showering blessings. The peace and quiet of the place enthralled me even more. There is this golden statue of Lord Subramaniam that is visible from miles away before reaching the caves.

We also went to other places like the Titiwahsan park, Merdecca Circle, Empire building and how can I forget the famous Genting Island!!!One thing I understood is it is really a place for romance and people in love. Huge parks, quiet country sides...aah...and I went alone...Sigh!!!

Malaysia 2007 and us!!!

Malaysia was a very different place when compared to Singapore.Well the truth is that it is very much similar to India.

• It is not a litter free place as Singapore. Some roads here resemble India a lot.



• You can say good bye to the smooth traffic free roads here. We were stuck up in traffic quite a many times.



• Corruption is very open by traffic police. They ask you very clearly how you want to settle fines..Ha ha...Definitely reminded of India right?



• Taxis and buses compete for passengers, break the rules and go on emergency tracks at times.



• The two lane paths always has a two wheeler path in between.



• The people are more traditional here. They live with parents and have joint family systems in most families.

So Malaysia was quite a resemblence to India. The Petaling street here reminded me of Shivajinagar market except they had strret singers. More on Malaysia sight seeing coming up..

A salute to the Country!!

Today was a day I was to go onsite along with an engineer. I was assigned to Edwin, a name that seemed so familiar in most cases we dealt. Now what was official can be left aside. I am already dreading the time I would have to return to office and speak about all this. But there was a different learning experience in this trip for me.

I was taken onsite to the Military Camp (MINDEF) that was a long drive up north of Singaopore. It was just like a Mysore highway drive but even moe sceneric on the way. There were resovoirs on the way where we stopped. Edwin told me that here was Singapore a country with no much natural resources but they sell water to some countries including China.

The camp was mind blowing. The security is very strict here. we had to surrender our identity passes at the guard post.What I saw inside...Hmm..where do I begin??? There were so many young guys being trained. they were involved in so many physical activities, running sprint, march, swimming, learning to use the big guns...and they were all my age or younger.

Edwin explained with pride how each Singaporean had to attend to 2 years in the camp where they served their nation. He recalled is times with so much passion that I was amazed they could love it so much. He said they believe in "Nationality before community, Society before self."

I met up with many officers and cadets. Spoke to them about so many things and one common voice that echoed from each heart was "Proud to be a Sinaporean." There were many who beleved that it is the people who made singapore so rich today. He said that the government comes from the people and we are the people.

I met WO Raja, name we had so often seen in our records. I was awed by this person. What a man, what personality and aura he had. With people like him you have no doubts a country will progress. He believed that accepting change is the biggest ability of a nation. If we change according to times we will prosper, individually and as a community. But they also held high value for their history and roots...

Now you know how smitten I am by the visit. A real eye opener...and now on the lighter note...more shopping!!! He he!!

The face behind the voices

Ah!All play comes to an end where we get to the serious part of the visit...But yes the day was exciting. It was discovering the face beind the voices day. The world seemed smaller now. Met people as if we have known for a long time. This is now beginning to be a learning experience in all ways. I never can thank my lucky stars and people around me who made this possible.

Now there are loads of stuff that i have been awing about other than the ones I've been talking about so far so here goes the age old bullentin board (Never fails me!!)

• The city is spick and spark where citizens take effort to keep it so. I actually saw this old lady who picked up a chocolate wrapper and put it in the waste bin.
• People are very proud of their country and hold it in high esteem..
• The temples here are very traditional all complete with the pujari too but God forgive me for saying this. the Indian Gods somewhere have a Sinaporean appearance..He he!

• On a 3 lane road,vehicles keep to the three lanes only even though Indian standards could have fitted some 6 distorted lanes on them.



• Hotel room instructions clerly state that "Drinking for the tap is perfectly safe." Now would anyone try that even if they wrote it down in our country??

• The time alloted to cross a road is just 5 seconds more than what is required....eeks!!I have to run at most signals...


• The favourite passtime for the people here is "Shopping, shopping and even more shopping."

So now that their favourite passtime is shopping I should just go along with the crowd so here I go shopping!!

The island of Happiness-Sentosa

I was greeted with the soft white clouds beaming at my face in the morning and I remembered that I was on my way to singapore. Landed at Changi airport and was in love at first sight. You could spend the whole day here and still have more to see. All the world's brands under a roof. Checked out and took a taxi. Hmm.. What a place??Even the taxis are Mercs here..Sigh!!

There was this extraordinary taxi guy who took us to Park hotel, telling us on the way about Singapore, the government, rules, people, land buying and all!! I just reinforced my thoughts about these people, friendly and simple!! Checked in at Park Hotel and left immediately to Sentosa!!

The journey itself was an experience. The MRTs are out of the world and a piece of art and technology.The system is so well thought of and designed. Well and I did think about Emraan Hashmi and the movie "Train." But yes..I am awed by the MRTs...He he!!

Reaching Harbour Front we took a cable car ride to Sentosa Island. well only anto and I really took pleasure of this as both others shut their eyes throughout the ride and also screamed at us for risking their lives at such heights..Ha ha!! There was this Star cruise we saw on the way all complete with swimming pool looking awesome from above.

We then set off to see the butterfly and Insect Park. As it is the guys had enough butterflies to see walking around and now tere were ones flying around too..Hmm..What to do!! Let them enjoy all of them!!

Then went to see the underwater aquarium..what a pleasure to count the teeth of such huge fish..he he..I loved the touch of those ray fish but a bit slimy..Yeah what else did I expect!! The layout is what impressed me the most here especially the horizontal escalators or travellators. Good for my already aching legs!!

Went to see the dolphin show which was really cute..The dolphins impressed us with their tricks and stunts.I wished I was chosen to go down and touch them.I sceamed my lungs out to be chosen too but bad luck!! On the way back we took a ride on the no roof bus around the island. Come on..I had to pinch my legs to check they were there by now and it was scorching hot!!

In the night we went to Little India. Here was our land and people just replanted in a foreign land. There were the road side food, the tender coconut stalls and even the paan waalas. Well no land without an Indian!! Also dropped by Mustafa center where supposedly every Indian goes to according to Singaporeans. Just reminded me of a "Mega" Big Bazaar!!

Cozed up in the room watching Zee Music the only channel that's familiar!!

And we took off!!

What a start t a journey. just a day for Bangalore to decide to start raining cats and dogs. Instead of washing away all my tensions for the trip it just doubled it. Was this a bad omen?? My mind was at unrest...

But then I kind of composed myself to get into the airport for check in. Gosh!! the airport of te silicon valley sure has a long way to go when compared to even the Muscat airports i saw 5 years ago!! As Anto was saying..."Most disappointing!Can't even find a Tinkle digest to read in here."

Well yeah habits never change and so does Indian sentiments. Here was Vishak who started crying on his mom's shoulder for a week's departure. Hmm...now that was a huge comedy. I escaped before i could laugh out aloud..

Lot has changed over the ears. Gone was a time when my mom used to cram our cabin luggage. Now a days people travel real light. Technology seems to have taken over life. Music player's, mobiles, laptops, palm tops and what not!! And speaking of technology we met the man himself..Azim Premji...Did go over to him and talk to him..And tell him that I loved his speech at last year's Wipro annual day!!

India's national insect was here too, waiting for boarding. Anto and I was instructing one of them as to who was a better prey! at the end of the day we all were tired and exhausted especially KD who reached the airport at 7.45pm for 12am departure. That too delayed for 1.5 hours thanks to rains.

So all i remember was getting in the airplane and sleeping..In between there was Vishak ordering beer,eating the airhostress brain and then snooze!!!

And here I go!!

There's a messenger status i believe in and se often, "When life ets mundane a new chapter begins."..Well that's exactly what I felt whne my manager called me to tell me that I was selected for an onsite visit to Singapore and Malaysia. an oppurtunty that knocked at my door very early in my tenure at HP and I opened the door all beaming and blushing as most noticed!!

So here goes my experiences along with the other 3 characters who would be a part of this blog for a few days now, Anto, Vishak and KD. Yeah I know, I get stuck as the only girl in most occassions....

Kya kare!!

There are certain objects we grow so attached to in life. It could be little things gifted to us, or things we use through a long time. They might be of any monetary value but they are priceless according to us.

I have grown attached to many such things in life. My 3310 mobile that I refuse to change is one. I have used it for the past 5 years with not even one servicing and I refuse to buy a new one unless and until this fails me. This is the first asset I bought with my own money. There are certain pieces of jewellery given to me that I refuse to part with. The list just goes on and on. It is very characteristic of Cancerians to grow attached to little things.

This is not exactly what I am worried about. I get very uncomfortable when someone asks me to lend them something I consider so precious. I am facing this problem with my Sony camera these days. I never know what to tell people who ask for it. My electronic stuff have always been a treasure to me and this tops the list as I bought it on my birthday for myself after I came to Bangalore.

I can never handle such situations. I can’t say “No” in a cut right manner as well as this would be people I like. I never understand how others handle it. I make some excuse or another but it hurts me too thinking I am lying to the person concerned. Well I guess sometimes there is nothing to do!!

My desktop

I wanted to take up this tag to share something special in my life. Well not the desktop, actually. This has been my desktop appearance for quite some time now. It does change occasionally but always to a Krishna photo. This adoration towards Krishna is something I share since a long time and that traces back to the time when "Mahabharath" serial was aired.

During that time we were in Muscat and those were the days where cable TV was non existent. Once in a month the 4 episodes shown that week on TV used to be made cassette and released in the video shops. We caught up with the craze quite late so did manage to see most of the videos toegther.

How much I used to enjoy them!! The attraction was that Lord Krishna was never perfect. He was naughty, he was cunning, he was deceptive and still God! Whenever I used to get naughty I used to pray to him to forgive me. Later on in life this continued. There would always be a Krishna Idol or photo somewhere in my room, definite.

There goes my desktop story!!

Happy Birthday, Mom!!

Yesterday was my mom’s birthday. Now not that I actually remember birthdays especially because we celebrate birthdays according to star signs. It changes every year to a new date so I lose track.

I asked mom what she got on her birthday (My gifts are usually postponed to the next time I go home!) She started off in the over excited tone. I knew by the tone she was blushing and out of the world. She says Dad surprised her, took her to Malabar Gold and bought her a pair of earrings. He also bought her a new saree.

This is something usual if you ask me. The unusual fact was the love and happiness from my mom’s voice. I wondered firstly, that any day if my mom is presented with gold or saree she will react the same way. I have always seen her like this and it is amazing it never changes with years.

And as usual I admire the togetherness in my parents’ life. They seem to have new chapters in their life every now and then. They still do stuff to make each other feel special and hmm…still do petty fights too!!! They are complete with each other..

I am bored!!

I am psyched due to inactivity. This happens once in a while or what the hell it happens every two weeks…When I feel I am not doing anything at all.. I maybe having a nice time, I maybe enjoying myself at office and doing something or another during the weekend still I feel psyched due to inactivity!

This is what having super weekends like the last one to Malpe beach does to me.. You feel such a high at one point of time where you try to cram as much as possible into 24 hours. You try to do as much as possible during those hours that the rest of the week irritates you.

I always have a nice time during weekends. However sometimes I miss work when it is Sunday. I feel like being at work. It’s just the grass is green on the other side effect. I always want opposite of what I am doing at the moment. If I am busy, I want to relax. If I am idle, I want to be busy.

And now I seem to have reached a point blank state of mind where I am not thinking anything at all. I don’t even know what I want. Moreover I don’t know why I am writing all this in the first place..Sigh!! Life goes on…

The Sea and Me!

I had a rocking weekend. We had a trip to the Paradise Isle Beach Resort at Malpe from office. It’s been years I haven’t been to the beach so the trip brought back a lot of childhood memories. On Sunday morning when the team was fast asleep due to late night disco, cricket match etc I woke up early to watch the sunrise at the beach. As I sat there and looked at the sea, there was a tide of thoughts through my mind.

The sea is something that brings mixed emotions to mind. The waves of Malpe beach were strong and violent. The tide had covered much a distance since the afternoon on Saturday. It looked as if the tide wanted to disturb the peace at the shore. Each time the shore wanted to settle down the waves soared against it. It does not understand that the shore needs time to settle. It just pushes the shore further in. If action could not hurt much, the waves even roared to seal the cruelty.It tried to put the fishermen in danger with the turbulent turns.

But then when I looked at the waves again and thought of the past day, there was a lot of happiness that flooded me. Now I looked at the sea with another angle. The sea brought a lot of hope. The shore even when hit continuously by the waves toiled against it. It seems to be mocking the waves that its hits will not break it. There is a lot of hope in the minds of the people who are at the shore. The lovers who walked silently on the shore, the fishing folks whose day depended on their catch, the joggers who hoped to lose weight, the elderly ones who hoped to live longer and healthy. That thought really put a smile on my face and I walked back happy!

The Empty Vase

The empty glass vase is a wonder on itself.

The onlooker looks at it. The design so perfect, the curvature so smooth. He admires the artist who molded it with his hands. He looks through the glass vase and sees the other side of the world. It seems as if the vase knows no foul. It is crystal clear in its path. He awes at its pureness. It looks as if this is a masterpiece of The creator.

But the vase believes itself another entity, one that no one else understands. It encompasses within itself a space that no one sees, a hollow that no one penetrates, an emptiness that pains it. It longs for a fullness that completes it. The vase knows that its life is only by chance. It knows that a small shrill could shatter it to a thousand pieces. It knows that a small mistake- intentional or unintentional may reduce it back to its original state. The vase waits- with fear of the end rather than the pleasure of life.

Sethusamudram Project

Over the past few days there was a lot of buzz about the Sethusamudram Shipping Canal Project especially when Karunanidhi went ahead and said, “Who is this Ram? From which engineering college did he get the engineering degree? Where is the proof that the bridge was built by him?” Wow! Now that’s what I call real cheeks of the guy!

If I would still be back in college, I am sure we would have a complete analysis on this case. The political, environment, economic, religious impact and so on….But hey I’m long past those hectic days.

This is the view of the bridge from above taken by NASA

I was thinking on what I believe. I mean, Yes! I do believe in Lord Ram. I am no atheist. But I am a factualist as well. Archeology proves that this bridge is about 3,500 years old. And as per the Vedas Ram lived in the Treta Yuga that is calculated to be 1.7 million years ago. But I definitely don’t think there was human population that long ago! Now who is wrong? No idea!!

There is a lot of proof that this bridge often called the Rama’s bridge or even Adam’s bridge (don’t ask me why!) could not be a natural phenomenon. It seems some reefs here are so light and that’s why they float on water.

Now I seriously would like to believe that this was the one the Vanara Sena built for Sri Ram. It really nourishes my faith in the myth. But could it really be true?

"Waiting for love"

The day comes and then goes,
I’m still waiting for a rose.
I hear your voice in my head,
But your face I see I see not.
Are you looking at the same star,
For a destiny that is not far.
Sometimes I feel you are near,
Coming to face is what you fear.
I wait for you arms to caress me,
And take me through the deep sea.
To watch over me when I sleep,
And wake me up from my sleep.
True love waits,
True love endures.
I shall wait with my arms open,
To engulf you when love happens.

P.S : This is for a collegue of mine who is so desperate "to have someone to look after him". This is in his actual words. Funny because he is just 22 or so and says this. Me at ** have never said this yet!!

“Living behind a mask”

Over the years it mould,
A mask my face to hold.
Hiding behind this mask,
Has never been a task.
Even behind the crafted smile,
There are sorrows going a mile.
Behind the attitude that says don’t care,
Lies a weak heart that fears a tear.
My feelings I reckon misunderstood,
It is then I retreat into that hood.
Where no one sees the real me,
And beyond me is all I see!!
I wonder if ever….
You see past the front to what lies below?
Or beyond the truth I want you to see?

Helen of Troy

Tagged yet again

I’m back again with a “TAG”

Here are the rules:
* Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
* When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.
* At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.
* Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.

When I saw Nags comment on my previous post declaring the tag, I was excited…Well a tag is the best solution to when you are thinking what do I write ...But things turned out panicky when I read the tag. My first issue is if I had a middle name what would it be…After a long thought I settled on “Helen”

There is a specific reason behind this choice. That’s nothing but life itself. I have always envied “Helen of Troy”. She was considered one of the most beautiful women on earth. The Trojan War fought for her, poems written for her, more than 100 suitors for her, movie made on her life, enough….I hate praising other women too much…But I seriously wish I were in her shoes!!

H – Humour loving. I envy people with a sense of humour, love to be with such people and enjoy life full of smiles.

E – Energy. I am mostly full of life and energy. I like to do something or another at any given point of time. Inactivity not only bores me but also enhances the devil mind in me.

L – Love and Romance. This is a true characteristic of a Cancer woman. Movies of love, poems of love, imaginations beyond the horizons, all take me to another world, a world which is never mine but a world I want to be in.

E – Evenings with nature. This is a certain high in my life. Whether at home watching the lamps lit at 6.30pm or strolling in a park in Bangalore in the evening or just a cup of coffee while watching TV lazily puts me to rest and refreshes me.

N – Never ending mood swings. This is something I hate admitting is that is characteristic of me. I am a bubbly person one minute and the other minute I may rebound back into my shell…

Wow…now that was a hard task man!!! Now for who else I want to pass the tag to….I love this part…

H –Hallucinations
E - Eashwar
L - Lime n Lemony
E – err… I’m running out of people so let it be Kavita ..she’s always tagging me!
N – Never mind the letter anyways just a letter away so let it be Maddy

It’s tough to break premonitions!!

I usually take a long time to make notions about people. In general I’m a friendly person who can speak to anyone at all no matter how much I know them. I hardly form opinions about people. My opinions are not based on what others say. They are more on my experience with the person.

This is something the silicon city taught me. Among the circle of people around me there is a wide variety. There are people who are a complete contrast to what they are to me in real life. There are some who are the same in and out. But it doesn’t matter. As long as they are good to me I like them.

Their personal life or backgrounds don’t bother me as far as they are in my good books. I have learnt it that way after coming to Bangalore. I don’t let other’s talk ruin my opinion about the person. But my difficulty is when my mind is set. When I have already shaped up my ideas about someone, I find it difficult to change.

Whatever a person does, different from what I expect him to, seems artificial to me. I get even more bugged up with such people. Not only do they fail to impress they put me off completely. I have debated within myself plenty of times whether I should change such premonitions. The “good devil” says I should change but then “It’s tough to break premonitions!!”

Random Thoughts- II

Continuing my 5 day trip thoughts…I have been branded as “not having the correct perspective or attitude” by one of my uncles. Obviously what he is referring to is the BIG Marriage factor. According to this person and many others back home the only thing that is delaying my marriage is my attitude towards it. Hmm…Quite a thought!

Well first let me look at the attitude I portray to others. I never thought I project any image to anyone on this issue. Whenever anyone asks a question even remotely concerned with this issue all I do is “Smile”. Now that is definitely a positive outlook no matter which book you read. And I don’t crib aloud to anyone saying “ Oh god! Why are things delaying so much? Why is it happening to me? Why don’t you guys do something about this? How long will I stay like this? “ etc etc. Reason why I don’t do it is firstly I don’t want it to sound like a mega serial episode and secondly I don’t want to lie. And obviously lying is bad according to all other books I’ve read and people I’ve heard.

Now the feeling behind the smile, what I think that I’ll never voice in front of anyone who seems to be thinking about this issue….is that “I just don’t care!!!” Yes that’s the feeling I have developed over time. What I want of life is to be happy and ask me anytime now - “ I am happy”.

I can’t think of adjusting to life anymore or making adjustments for the sake of adjusting. I am happy, more happy than any other time in my life. I have people around me who care for me and share my joys and sorrows. When I go to all the temples for Mom these days and she tells me to pray with all my heart, I know she is referring only “Let my marriage happen soon.” But I actually do pray with all my heart, “ To keep me happy.” That’s just what I want of the power above me and from all those with me too!!

Random Thoughts - I

I’m finally back from home after what seemed like a vacation to me. 5 days at home , has been ages since I’ve been home for a stretch like this. Well over all, the vacation was good I should say. It really gave me food for thought.

So this is going to be a string of random thoughts.
The thought that bothered me the most is that I lost what I valued the most, probably I was proud of the most. The concept of joint family!! I boasted about this when I was in college and school or maybe even till last year. All cousins coming together, everyone having food at the ancestral home, noise, fun.. I thought this was norm and it would always be like this. Yeah, a foolish thought! I didn’t know that the tide would change soon.

With my grandmother’s death and the head of family gone the chain that bound us together was broken. This year everyone was mute about getting together. All seemed to be happy with their own family. This was just not what I expected.

Nuclear family seems to have taken over life. Everyone is only concerned for their immediate family. Maybe due to various reasons. Some say this is the only time they get with their family. Some say that it is too much stress to work so much. Some don’t have anything to say.

Well there is something I want to say to my elders. You could say many things starting, “In our days it used to be like this….” Now I can boldly say that in your days no one was together. In our days don’t’ expect the same. I am really sad that we are splitting ways.

Poetry in Hindi (a poor attempt)

ख्यालों से गुज़र्कर कभी वो मेरे दिल पे दस्तक देता है

निगाहे चुराके भी वो मेरे नज़रों मे समाता है

कुछ कहना था शायद उसको

फिर भी होंट है सिले हुए

कदम बडाता है वो धीरे से

पास आता है एक झोंके कि तरह

एक अंगारा सा है सीने मे

फिर भी साँसे हल्के है

ए अजनबी तुम कौन हो .....

Nothing in the world is constant but change!

Whenever I pick call these days from friends I haven’t spoken to for sometime and they ask what’s happening, I say all’s the same. To get time to a lower span every week when I call my parents and they ask for news again it’s all the same! I hear people cribbing for a change in life, people doing crazy things on impulse just because life is the same, married people going astray in want of change….all sort of things!!!

I’ve always thought everyone loves change in their lives. I’ve never thought otherwise. Could it be that there could be people who didn’t want change in life? Well to think of it from another point of view there might be many who don’t like change.

They follow the same routine everyday. The same positioning of things, the same route they take, similar eating habits, similar dressing habits, everything constant. Is hating change fearing the unprepared? Do they like to be systematic in everything they do? Reminds me of people planning pregnancy for an auspicious time of birth and according to school admissions!!!

Change can be fearsome but sometimes that is what carries life forward. I don’t want to be leading a new life everyday but I would love something new to be happening often. Tomorrow when on the judgment day I don’t want to think back and say, “Hey there’s nothing different I’ve done since a long time.” Nor do I wish I want any desires left unturned at the end of the journey.

Happy Independence Day!!

Well today India celebrates 60 years of Independence. Maybe we may not have the same feelings our grandparents would have on this day. Maybe it is just another day passed with the usual routine of flag hoisting in educational institutions, holidays and ethnic wear for corporate and patriotic movies through the day on television (I'm looking forward to see Roja on TV for the umpteenth time ).

I don’t think I can pen the changes these 60 years have brought to our motherland (Well I leave that to the newspapers and news channels) but yes… I definitely can say what living in independent India means to me!!!

Today India is where I can speak my heart out ( Hmm...most of what I say is nonsense so who cares) and no one questions me as to why I have spoken thus. Still India is where I lower my voice in front of my elders and feel hurt when my dad scolds me!

Today I can travel to any part of the world thanks to the infrastructure laid down (and now a days pay dirt cheap for travel) but still my heart longs to be at home in the midst of the land that is mine…

Even though I see poverty and corruption around me I also see the light of hope in the eyes of the million who live around me that Yes! Someday all will be well!

India is where I love to eat Chinese momos, Continental steak and Italian Pizzas (put on all the calories and look to foreign machines to loose it too) but at the end of the day love to eat mom’s dal chavval any day- any time!

India is where we have lakhs of jobs for outsourcing work of other countries. We speak in different accents (sometimes doing a bad job too) and to global customers. Still when we speak to someone close to our heart it's always mother tongue first..

However today's India to me is a land where I can nourish my dreams and watch them turn true making my own choices, my decisions and on my own feet! I love Independent India!!!

Penning anger out!!

Through life I have always had instances to site that money does not bring culture into a person and one such incident happened yet again last week. This is one of those cheap hostel stealing incident and the girl lashing her tongue out to blame the others that her things were missing…

Sad mishaps but the ironic part is this isn’t one of those poor-can’t meet ends damsel. This is a software engineer working for IBM and earning loads. Yeah I know there is some psychological imbalance that explains this status but then I wonder…Hey what the hell??

They have a great mind to think of everything under the sun but this is blamed on habitual stealing or mental imbalance!! Spends several Ks on beauty parlours and grooming but steals loose money left on the table, clothes left for drying and don’t mention what not!!

These are the ones who ridicule others that they have no money and say words with such ease. They make fun of those who save on money eating less, save by traveling by bus rather than auto to travel even less than a kilometer.

I accept there are some who genuinely may have this issue but that does not mean we can let go every one on the same ground!! I have always valued money because I’ve seen all phases of have and have not but never wanted to live beyond capabilities. I am happy as I am!!!

Happy Friendship Day

Friendship day… Again another day to remember all those friends who have been a part of your life… Again not that you need a day to acknowledge their importance in your life. When I was receiving all those SMS and mails over the last few days, I really wondered how to reply back.

These maybe friends I chat with once in a while, scrap when there is news to share or call once in a while. And I was really embarrassed to send them a deep friendship message that talked of walking the path of life through roses and thorns.

Then I began to wonder, is it that they don’t mean much to me? Is it that I don’t have feelings for them? No chance!! It’s just the way friendship is. The depth or meaning of friendship does not decrease with increase in distance (Hey! I still remember my inverse proportion law) But somehow the waves of life just takes us forward. Go to office, Come back, sleep… the routine repeats in a vicious circle. Sometimes when I sit back during the weekend, I remember old times and old friends and all the good times spent together!

Today what I am is a lot because of friends around me. Apart from my parents they have seen me through the walk of life. Habits, behaviour, tempers, outlook to life everything is what friends shaped them into. I value all of them the same.

But I guess the best friendships are those that end up with that once in a blue moon contact and still brings a smile to your face. Love you all!!!

Thank You note!

It takes a lot of difficulty to say grave things. It becomes even more difficult to say serious things to people who are not intimate to you. And the worst is when you have to say something in that tone to someone you have hardly spoken to. Personally I have never done something like that. I make a lot of friends but hardly make any by putting my front foot forward. Of late I did make friendship with one such person. Well I hardly know even if it is friendship, but yes I broke inhibitions and my frame of mind towards that person.

This was a person who told me a simple thing with a simple example. We have a lot of friends around us. We interact with customers who are miles away from us. Our job says to go the extra mile and help those customers. Come to think of it, they are distance away, they don’t know us or we know them personally. So why should we take that extra mile road. Is it just for money? Just for a compliment? No, deep inside there is something called mental satisfaction.

Maybe that’s exactly what prompts us to do good for someone we don’t know. I was really confused with all this. I was like, “Ok! You did something good to help me, but now why are you telling me this?” I got a nice answer for that too. By doing this for you I have helped you, so better not disappoint me by not seizing the opportunity to prove yourself! Hmm… I was really happy after the conversation!

It makes me think…There maybe loads of people who have done good to me in some way or the other. Some I would have known, some I would not even know. I’d really thank all those people…Love you all!!!

Harry Potter Trailer...

Happy Potter Week!!!

Well for anyone who has been wondering what happened to me....I'm back!! The last week has been two opposites bad and great...For all those who wished me well a big "Thank You" from the depths of my heart...

So let me start with the bad part. I spend the weekend in the hospital, blood tests, injections...everything possible!! I freaked out as no one could tell me what was wrong with me. To make things worse the attack I had on Tuesday occurred again on Friday early morning. The previous time I did not tell my parents, now I had to. Narrowed down into a blood infection. Now on antibiotics...Wonder what'll happen after the course....

And for now the great news...I have been reading the last and grand finale book of Harry Potter and just finished it. I thought I'll immediately post something because I am just not able to constrict the feeling withing myself. I am feeling out of the world. I was absolutely in a shell during the last 4 days, reading slowly and resisting the urge of going to the last to know what happens.

J.K Rowling rocks! She and Harry have matured beyond words. The book is excellent and beyond comparision. When you thought you have understood and set expectations in your mind about the characters and the author, she defies all...The climax is just too good! All the pieces fall in place...Some pieces that were left unexplained since the first book is finally answered...Some even which I had forgotten surfaced back!!

I am happy I read the book but the feeling that this was the last book lingers. I am sad there is no more...The sense of belonging I had with the book, with the characters who kept me company on many lonely, unpurposeful days... a sense of missing something engulfs me so much. I started reading this book way back in 2002 and now I miss all the moments i spent with the book.

Anyways...all good things must come to an end...I bet this will not stop me from re-reading the book again at those loneful moments. To top it all I watched the movie too. The movie is really good. Difficult to put so many details in a 2 hour movie but a job well done....

Sigh....I miss you Harry....

Allergies and Me!!!

Whenever I come across the question “Allergic to :” in slam books, orkut details, anything at all…I end up writing pretty proud “ People who boast, show offs etc” I never thought I was allergic to anything at all.

Came back from home with mixed feelings but was happy to be at office and Bangalore! On Tuesday I went all full of my lively self to office. Spent the first half of the day distributing Guruvayoor prasadam and banana halwa (I forgot these at home on Monday!).

And then lo and behold, my whole face swells up and rashes appear all over my body and to top it all it was itching all over!!!! Aaaaaa… Within a matter of an hour the situation turned from BAD to WORSE and god knows what!!

I was rushed to the hospital (if you can call waiting in the traffic for 20 minutes as rushed). The doctor looked at me and asked me a series of questions when all the while I was controlling the tendency to itch everywhere possible. After his never ending questions, he looks at me and asks, “Are you alone?” I have been talking to him for the past 15 minutes, me alone and he asks this nonsense question. Damn his eyesight!! Ok… so “me alone” goes and gets the injections and stuff and wait for the dreaded moment!

Now given a chance I would have put this off even if I were at my last breath. Atleast I know I am going to die then…But no other option when I have to tie down my hands to stop itching! I looked pitifully at the assistant. Now he was a handsome guy (thinking about it now!) He smiled and said it won’t hurt. After 10 minutes of poking at 3 places on my arm he succeeds in finding my vein. I looked at him with half anger and half tears (Yeah that hurt for nothing!!)

He told me to sleep in the hospital for 3 hours as he had given me a sedative. (What! You didn’t tell me this before. How can a good girl like me sleep here alone) I said, “No way! I’ll go home and sleep.” He then asked me to wait to see if the itching went. Thankfully it went! And thanks a million to “Space Impact” and “Snake” on my mobile I kept myself awake for 15 minutes with lot of difficulty (Jai Nokia!).

I somehow managed to get home and slept the rest of the day..Seems fine today. But well every time it’s itching today due to any reason, I panic!! At the end of the day…”All’s well that itches well!!”

Back from home...

I am finally back from Kerala! A four day visit. This time I’m so full of mixed feelings that I don’t even know my own mind.

The first 2 days I spent in Guruvayoor. A place I love so much. It’s been years I haven’t gone there. This year something prompted me to go. I told my parents I wanted to be there. Maybe because of all the mental turmoils! The place has changed a lot since I was there the last time. There is more crowd, more hassle, more devotion definite! I was amazed at how much faith people have here.

(I love this snap for the expression on the man's face)

The security has become very strict. No mobile phones, no digicams, nothing allowed. Actually good. The last thing I want is me about to cry standing there in solace and someone says “ Yello!!! Kelkannilaa!!!!” Ha ha..Sometimes I am amazed to see some small kids. There is so much of love they show God! They will be crying out the Lord’s names meticulously as taught by their parents and so cute they look too…

The trip home was fine…as usual…same questions..same anxiety on the faces of my relatives! Hmm…I guess I’m used to this now..Doesn’t make a difference to me at all now a days..I really wonder what I would do if I didn’t have Bangalore to come back too!! Love this city…

Tagged!!!

Been a long time I’ve been tagged and lo and behold I’m cornered by Dhanya, a new friend I found online. So here goes, I guess!!

The rules of this game:

* Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
* People who are tagged need to write posts in their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
* At the end of your post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

1. I’m a true Cancerian in all senses. Happier than the richest person on earth at times and an emotional mess at times. I hate myself for these mood swings and hold myself back at most times but they get the better of me.

2. Dancing has been a passion since the time I remember. I have been trained on classic dancing for close to 10 years and still dance whenever I am on any extreme mood. It works wonders, trust me!

3. Even though I generally make a lot of friends there are very few who are really close to my heart and I treasure them the most in my life. I survive partly because of them I should say

4. I’m a total TV addict and movie freak. All my friends can vouch for this. The reason is because I hardly watched TV till my 8th standard! We had only Aarbic channels at that time…He he!

5. I envy and love people with a great sense of humour. Who take any joke at its lighter side and you don’t have to apologize for a joke! I love their company anytime , anyplace.

6. I am scared of the dark. Staying almost 2 years in Bangalore I’m still afraid of going out after 9pm. When I get up in the early morning I check umpteen times for sounds from outside before I come out of my room!

7. I’m sick and tired of seeing guys over the coffee table, forgetting their face and conversations within 5 minutes and searching for answer to give my parents whether I liked the guy or not. I’ve given up!

8. I am very possessive about people I love. I crib and fight with them all the time but at the end of the day I love them like never before. I cry at the drop of the hat but still manage to smile in another half an hour.

Now for tagging 8 others….Hmm…I’ll check out and do that with time, promise! Let me search for a few I would like to know more!

Bangalore doctors suspected for terrorism!!

The report where the Bangalore doctors are suspected involved in the Britain terrorist activities shook my belief in education. I somehow had a misconception that people involved in these were ones who are misguided in youth. They were imparted these notions when young and develop the passion or maybe embrace fanatism towards the one sided belief!

I truly can never understand their sentiments but always thought that education does away such false thinkings. I thought with education you get broadminded and tolerant towards all religions. At least the time we were in college we hardly remember asking any thing remotedly connected to all this!

The youth of Bangalore are supposedly the most happening crowd of India. Here are the youth who raise their voice to extend the night life deadline beyond 11.30pm. And there is another side of the youth portrayed here.That too these are doctors. People, who are supposed to save lives inspite of whether one’s own enemy. We go with faith that they would cure us of anything at all! How could such people be involved! Beats me hands down! I know nothing is proved yet and it is wrong to doubt someone criminal without proof….but still!!!

Janapada Loka

This is where I spent my birthday last year and this is where we went again on the way to Amblee Resorts. This draft has been resting since a long time in my posts. I just dug it up today.

It is located some 50km on the Bangalore Mysore Highway and spreads more than 10 acres for sure, a really huge place. It’s like a treasure of Karnataka heritage! There is a large collection of household gadgets, masks, dolls, shadow puppets, agricultural, hunting and fishing stuff. There are some really old chariots, stone carvings of deities etc.


When I checked out the history of this place it was fascinating. This entire initiation was by H.L Gowda who felt the need to preserve tradition and folk forms of Karnataka. He also wanted to preserve it in the true village style. That’s exactly how this place is too! The things they have here reminded me of things I have at my ancestral home. The lamps, utensils, things we love to preserve even today. Hardly use them however!

The Kamat restaurant next to it is also a unique modeling. The restaurant is based on a village house complete with a cow shed and cows. The waiters sport traditional dress and the food served consists of typical home food. We loved the food here. Last time when I went we ate seperate orders but this time it was a buffet breakfast that was also too good. A must visit place specially if you are on the way to Mysore!

Happy Birthday to me!!!

There goes my birthday weekend! I had so much of fun the last weekend. I thought it was a well spent birthday. On Saturday I went shopping. My friends got me a watch from Titan, a “Fast track” one. Yo! John here I come…I have plenty of watches but this is the first one I own for myself.

On Sunday set off on Mysore road to Kamat Lokaruchi to have breakfast.I love the style they serve idli here…wound in leaf and shape of cylinder..You have to unwrap the idli from the leaf which is secured with wooden pricks! Cool! Also went to the Janapada Loka just adjacent to this restaurant. This was a place that I missed when I came to Kamat along with my parents.

And as usual headed to Café Coffee Day a few kilometers away . I love this place for the ride and for the ambience! Had a chocolate fantasy and cold chocolate..Yeah my birthday would be incomplete without chocolate anytime!

The ride was fab as it was drizzling at times and huge fun…Came back to Bangalore and went to Bhima Jewellery that has opened near Forum and bought myself a pendant. Well I pamper myself on birthdays usually…Had loads of fun. Another birthday gone past and ironically I’m happy about it…He he he!!

Chocolate anyone?

I’m in great mood this week…The reason you may ask….It’s my birthday on July 1rst!!! Happy Birthday to me…And that has a new look starting today…I changed my template after months of troubleshooting! I just realised how illiterate I am on these stuff..It was something to do XML format supported by the new blogger!..Whatever!!

I chose this template because I love chocolates. Moreover chocolates are supposed to be the greatest anti-depressants. There are different theories for this..Arguments for and against..But I prefer to suit myself. I prefer them to anything else!!

Moreover another significance, I am taking off all the depressions for the year. Starting a new year with new hopes. So this week I’ll cry off all those sniffs and start at a fresh page!!

Sunita Williams and Indians

One of the most talked about women today is Aishwarya Rai and then Sunita Williams. Of late Ash seems to be busy honeymooning! I was not very keen on looking beyond my small earth till lately. Sunita Williams and her Atlantis journey inspired me to do so.

Following the Kalpana Chawla tragedy I really hoped that would not repeat in the history of Indian women. The news channels covered the landing by the second and there were millions who took a breath of relief after the safe landing. As the “Times of India” stated it was reality TV at its best for those few hours. There were people who performed pujas too for her safety.


She returned after spending more than 6 months at the space station. She set a record for the longest single spaceflight by a woman at 195 days.She also set the record for spacewalking by a woman for the longest time. Way to go girl!!!

Yes she did make India proud.But I wonder….does India really have a share in her feat. She was born in Ohio and the Indian connection is her father who hails from Gujarat. There ends all Indian roots. I mean what was all that media hype for (I know it’s hyped for just about anything). There were SMS campaigns, calls for wishes…Come on give me a break…Isn’t it over done a bit???

Whatever I still admire that lady!!!

Sivaji - The crowd!!!

Bangalore saw the release of Sivaji- The Boss on Friday and that was huge. I have been here in Bangalore for 2 years now and have not seen anything like this before…I have seen PVR in all states, but never like this.

Police were all over controlling the mob and keeping a check on the fans that poured in from god knows where to book tickets. There was despair and anxiety on the face of many as to when they would get tickets. The corporate companies like Cognizant, have booked entire show for their employees (unfortunately not my company).

The small theatre near my home had people sleeping on the road the previous night to get tickets. I was simply amazed. There was a theatre where they did the "Paal- Abhishekam" before the release.No other country other than India can show such extremes of fan following! I salute all those crazy fans of “Thalayver” out there!!!

I am not looking to see the movie till a few weeks..I guess I’ll give way to all those hard core fans first…Would surely watch it sometime...Love to see whether it is worth all the ga-ga. Anyone seen the movie yet? Please tell me. Meanwhile let me call the movie Sivaji- The crowd puller!

Dad and Mom!

Lots has been happening over the last week. It was Father’s Day yesterday, a day dedicated to all those lovely dadas ,papas , acchas , appas and those lovely fathers who have shaped our lives. The fact is whenever I think of my father I’m unable to think of him alone. My mom and he come as a single entity to me. All in all the word family!


Dad and mom have been an important part of shaping my life to what it is now…I often feel that more than the motivation or inspiration they have been for me I would love to thank them for their non interference. I know you didn’t understand..Let me try to put this in words….

I was brought up in Muscat where kids and their parents stay in close proximity. You have nothing called public transport or places to hang out. So we were always at home with parents. This is where parents drove children crazy pestering them about school and studies.

My parents never once told me to study. They never asked me about what I was doing. They never scheduled my studies, TV time, outings anything at all…They never compared me to anyone in school..They didn’t mind when I sat to watch the World Cup just the day before my Board exams…

When I joined engineering too…I don’t think they knew how many semesters I had or what subjects I did. They just did not know!!! But they were my moral support..When I complained saying studies were tough, they smiled and said I could do it…When I came down to Kerala alone, they just said “We trust you!” No advices, no cribbing…

I love my parents…I don’t need any special day to tell them that…But on a second thought I never tell them any day…I guess some feelings are better understood than said….

Optimist or Pessimist?

One of my close friends lately got promoted to the post of trainer. He is someone who believes everything is pre-decided and nothing he does makes a difference! When this position was open for filling he refused to give a try because he thought the post was already decided for someone else and all this was just a show!!

Even though I believed the battle was lost without a fight, he stayed firm..It was thanks to his friends who pushed him to do the presentation and lo and behold, contrary to all beliefs, he got selected too…

I always wonder…is optimism a part of our character or something we develop with time, facing the world…It is easy to say one should be optimistic in life…Easy to preach but then practice?? Don’t think so!! I am example for this myself. I love to think the glass is half full but then my thoughts would be mostly..”Oh man! It is still half empty…How come it is half empty???”

I have attended a dozen or more of those motivation classes. At the moment I’ll be all geared up to face life with that positive outlook. But when life glares at me with wide eyes it just escapes me..I bet I’m no different from others who sat with me in those classes…But I guess no one likes to admit they see the half empty glass. It’s easy to take up those optimism tests and give all the positive answers..The test results come and you comfort yourself “ Yeah I am an optimist!” Big deal! As if it solves your problem of seeing the half empty glass!

I then wonder am I a pessimist?? No..I do take that step to make things better in life…I do think that life is worth living for the good moments too…So where does it leave me? Is there a line in between…Should be…What do you call someone who is optimistic when happy and pessimist when faced with problems..Ha ha!!

Venky's wedding!!

Been a long time I have posted anything…Was just busy over the past week. I had to attend one of my close friend’s wedding last week. Had heaps of fun!! The reception day was full of masti where we danced and sang till late night with lots of food. I was amazed at how much jovial these people can be…I mean the last thing I expect in Kerala wedding is the bride and groom’s family dancing to “Appidi podu, podu”

There were some customs I found very amusing. One was the Kashi Yatre, where the groom pretends to be very angry as nobody is searching for a bride for him. So my friend went off with a walking stick, an umbrella, a fan, a coconut, a small packet of rice and dal, and a dhoti. He was then brought back by the bride’s relatives who convince him that they would give him their girl…( LOL…Indian rituals!)

Another amusing one is where the bride is brought to the mandap and no one is supposed to see her face, so the bride and groom stand on the either side of a white cloth. And I still don’t know why they stood in buckets during the wedding…Anyone please explain this to me…The last bit is the fun part where Okhli is played. The groom’s ring is dipped in the colored water and the bride and her brothers have to search for it. Other games like throwing coloured rice on each other, rocking a doll in cradle and what not!!
I had lots of fun at the wedding and was curious all the time as to what happens next!!

Through the mind of Rashmi Nagaraj

This is just an attempt to read the mind of Dr. Rashmi Nagaraj who committed suicide last week in Bangalore. She had obtained 74th rank in the Po s t - G r a d u at e Entrance Test but failed to get the subject of her choice.

Today has been the worst day of my life…I have never felt so low in life. Life at KIMS was so…normal!! I had built a thousand castles in the air. My parents expected so much from me. I was at the peak of joy when I got 74th rank in PGET…wanted to take up paediatrics or general medicine..Went with all hopes for the councelling only to know that I would not get what I wanted…

I am here on the terrace..I can hear voices around me…Is it someone who is searching for me? No can’t be..It’s too early for someone to notice! Must be just those kids down the block…living their happy lives…Dad is still at the university enquiring about the seat…I don’t know if he would miss me…but it doesn’t make a difference now…

My life now depends on these 50 phenobarbitone pills I have with me. I wonder how many it would take for…I have lost hope. This was my greatest dream and I have lost that opportunity…I can’t wait another year to write the test again…I just can’t do this anymore. Everyone, my parents, relatives, everyone was waiting for this day since I wrote the test. I can’t believe this is happening!

Let me take 10 pills now…The authorities have offered me a seat in microbiology! But who would like that?? That doesn’t have any value..They talk as if they are doing me a favour..I hate this…Just let me pop in 10 more of these! They don’t seem to have an effect on me yet..

In my years of medicine I have always pondered on this sensation of death. How would it feel like to die..What am I feeling right now..A slow drowsiness is it? But I want it to death..I know death is not the way of escape…But I want to…End all this..I cannot face all around me in this state of defeat. I hate myself, hate all around me too..I better eat 10 more…I want to end this trauma forever ,ever…..

As I wrote this…even though I tried to justify Rashmi…I could never get to the depth as to what could drive the girl to this moment…Just in case there are a few reading this who would like to try interpolating what could have been her state of mind. Please do…There may be things we might have never thought of…You can also refer this.

My romance with the rain!!

On Wednesday and Thursday it rained heavily in Bangalore. A huge relief to the hot week that went by. With the first thunder and lightning attack…pop went the power supply (I know…you would be saying tell me something new!). Had absolutely nothing to do. No TV….can’t go out…Can’t wash clothes….So I thought why not write something. Maybe because of the rain and chill effect it turned out to be a bit of romance, so spare me…



Each drop that falls on me,
Brings a drop of his love,
The cool breeze engulfs me thus,
Like his arms to keep me warm!

It is my dreams I see in his eyes,
My faint smile on his sly lips,
My life in each breath he takes,
My innocence in the pranks he plays!

My love has the colours of a rainbow,
It flutters with the wings of a butterfly,
Unknown and unsensed by all around,
Love does the dance of joy within me!


Please I don’t want to write anymore…It seems like some silly stuff already!!! But worth a laugh definite…So enjoy the weekend guys…If you are feeling low…Read my poem…
Whatever!! Anything to bring a smile on your face…..Life Rocks baby!

P.S : By the way I prove a point here...not every Tom, Dick and Harry can write...So hats of to all you gus who write amazing stuff!!

Children of Heaven

Before I tell you about the movie I should maybe tell you about the person who told me to watch this movie, Jay Shankar…A quiet person who he seems to be (forgive me if I am wrong) prompted me to watch this quiet movie.

It is an Iranian movie by Majid Majidi that won accolades at the 1997 Montreal Film Festival. Now that info is thanks to Google..A simple movie about a little boy Ali who lost his sister Zahra’s shoes. The entire movie revolves around this theme. There is not much of a story line here but a lot of messages that do not meet the “naked eye”. That is exactly why I waited for a few days before writing this post. I wanted the movie to grow on me before I could comment on it.


Sometimes in life small events can teach us loads. Shouldering responsibility is something the movie teaches. The 2 little kids take the responsibility of the family from their parents so well. Cleaning the house, doing the dishes, cooking, helping in their parents work and also studying so well. Something most of us fail to do so!

The movie shows how we can bring a smile to the face from simple things, like the scene where the kids blow soap bubbles or where they share the pen! Sometimes in life we are so carried away with our tensions that we fail to see little joys…I know I shouldn’t say this as I’m a typical example for such a person!

The movie leaves us with a happy note picturised my mesmorising scene of the fishes in the pond. With all the positive emotions that came from the movie there was a sad one I found. Sometimes even if we win the race we may not be happy and get what we actually want! Happiness is individualistic. A poor man sleeps happy and content with 3 meals a day where a rich guy can be unhappy inspite of all the material riches!!

A must watch movie especially if you are looking fro some simple joys!!!

P.S :This is for you Rajeev...Watch the movie here itself(the first 2 slides)

Weekend with Bingo and Ice Cappuccino

Hmm…that was a weekend well spend. Friday was quite boring as I had a training to attend post shift…How I dread these! Turned out to be interesting as it was on LINUX that I had no idea on…Come to think of it…I had no idea on anything when I started working..

My friend , Nagu came on Saturday morning. She was late thanks to the “special” train from Hyderabad! Saturday turned out to be good overall. Had a bit of fun when we dropped by at Forum. There were 2 promotion stalls at Forum. Both silly but had free goodies..

There is the new chips in town- Bingo!! The game as silly as their ads..Remember the series of ads that say “No Confusion..Just Bingo!” or something like that..(Watch one of those nonsense ads here) Now where did they get such a pretty dame for that ad!! The game was to say Bingo in 3 different accents..Was that a game? The other one, even more ridiculous, was Ice Cappuccino (yeah…the sip..lick..mmmm..one) that made the people around actually do that and took photos with the frost mushtache..(Watch that ad here)

Later on in the day one of my friends, Venky, who is getting married next week gave us a party at Popsies in Koramangala!! It was a fun filled party as we were all making so much of noise that they finally switched off the lights indicating “go home” time.

Sunday was pretty uneventful…Watched Spiderman 3..Nothing much to say abot the movie…Definitely not as good as the other 2. We hooted when Spidey boy cried!! I had heard this from those who watched this earlier..Just wanted to watch it for the special effects on big screen…
Now that I am having fun in life again….what to say..all’s well that ends well. Is it?

Back with a smile!!!

I know I haven’t posted anything for sometime…Was asked by a couple of friends as to what’s up? I gave it a thought…Well I guess I am a little embarrassed to be frank….I really broke down that day but then there was a lot of nice things that happened through out the week…

I knew I was not the only one out here who is in such a situation (Not that I didn’t know…but it’s nice when someone says so!!!) I got a few suggestions as to what I should do to make myself happy…which I have already taken up…That explains the smile on my face…(just in case my tone in writing fails to show it)
There are two that have really touched my heart and I think I should share it. These are from two very dear friends of mine…

One of them asked me a question I have never thought of…”Do I believe in the power of prayer?” Well I am a god fearing person…Do pray…but have I prayed in specific for my problems?? No…My friend told me to believe in the power of prayer…To pray for me and my problems in specific and all who face such similar problems…She said that unless I am willing to share my sorrows with God, how would he help?? Hmm…never thought of it that way at all…

Then there was something else that someone very close to me said…unless and until I do something that makes it worth a while to remember me…why should anyone remember me? True…I have not done anything to hurt anyone…but have I done anything to make people remember me or miss me? This question stung me…and I am still pondering on it…
Till then take care guys…Have a happy weekend!!!

Sorry I freaked out....

I know I really had a bad pout yesterday...Maybe I should have not written all that...But I wanted to pour it out somewhere atleast...Did I feel better after that???Yes it did...I think I did my part of crying in front of the computer itself...

Did it fix the problem??? I don't think it can be ever fixed...These moments will keep coming up..But there was a good thing that emerged from that day....
The comments I got from this person..... who is this me!!!

I have no idea who this is...can't seem to trace this person too...This person not only sympathised with me but also given me a solution... And when I read through his comment and suggestion as follows I thought why not?? Let me give this a try....

tsk tsk, now now, that doesnt really sound like 'life simply rocks' :-) can i suggest something - why dont you get involved with an NGO, and if you are looking for one - http://www.dsfindia.org/

I dont know much about this group myself, and I am not much of an NGO guy myself, but I guess working with one would do you a lot of good and this is someone who I believe is directly involved with DSF -

http://www.orkut.com/Scrapbook.aspx?uid=6363174499451951697
I am saying this because a couple of times when I was really depressed, I happened to visit an orphange with one of my friends and it really was a refreshing experience - to see kids, spend time with them, play with them.

To be honest, never have I felt that life rocks, but you seem to be a very bubbly person in general, except when you have these bouts of depression, I am sure this is just a passing phase. Be assured, things will get better soon.I am not too sure if you should put this comment in the public domain, not that I would mind, but I wonder if it got a little too personal. In case you dont appreciate the whole thing, really sorry about that.

As a foot note I would like to add...I have written to them...Maybe it turns out to be a brilliant idea...Thanks a lot friend...And in case you would reveal your identity to me....I would thank you personally...

Thanks everyone who send me those wishes...
Nagu...I know you will be there...Thanks Jeevy too...I'll always keep this in mind!!!

Me at my worst

I'm at it again...I'm going through one of those stages of depression again. A point in time that reoccurs all the time...Sometimes I think I am content with life. I have a cool job in one of the top MNCs, a 5 digit salary that I don't use at all, the time to myself, nice people around me, all the fun I want to have...everything. But then again...I don't have anything at all...

When I think of what do I have from life till now...nothing at all....what have I got from life...nothing at all...what have I given my life so far...again void...Sometimes I think of it...there is not a single soul in this world who would miss me if I am gone....

I think of my parents...Yes they love me like any other doting parents....but am I an essential component of their life?? No, they life would go on even without me...my sister...she too loves me...but again I am not a part of her sphere of life. Have I made a friend who would miss me by the second....No... Love....was never lucky in that any time...Then what is the purpose of all this...

Why is it that no voice comes out of me even when I cry? Why is it that even in a crowd of many happy people I feel loneliness..an emptiness inside me...Why is it that I sometimes don't even believe in the smile that I put on my face?

I sometimes feel I am an odd person...Someone who is not a part of this world...I feel there is no one in this world who can love me for what I am...Looks....forget it...how much can I comfort myself thinking not evey other person is Aishwarya Rai? I'll never be noticed for my looks...And character or behaviour...do I really have anything like that which would impress anyone...No..

There is nothing in me that is worth anything...Sometimes I feel I live for just the sake of life....Each day passes just for the reason that the sun has to rise and set...How longer will I live this empty life...I only don't know...Will never know...

*******I really don't know why I am sharing this on this space but sometimes I feel there should be something left behind....something that tells the world thatI was here too....

Foot Note : I'm not the only one ....check this.

Appearance does matter....or it doesn't...confused!!!

Have been watching a lot of interviews of normal life leading people (star interviews are crap) these days thanks to Sun Music or shows on Asianet and Surya for dedicating songs…A common question asked is “What kind of girl or boy do you have in mind as life partner?”

The cliché dialogue always follows…kind, understanding, caring etc etc. Then the question arises, “How about looks?”…Bang comes the answer too “ Doesn’t matter ....should be presentable.”
I always wonder if this is really true……….


I often think…Personally I wouldn’t mind the looks of the person I get married too…I say that to myself all the time…But would I marry a guy with long braided hair, a tattoo on his arm, a ear piercing and god knows where piercing…He may be the ultimate sweet guy who complements me perfectly…But will I say “ I do”…Well sorry NEVER!!!!
I would appreciate the guy as a friend,a colleague but life partner…no ways…

As for guys…I have no idea as to how they expect girls to be ( that explains why I’m not married yet…or does it not??? I don’t know!! ) But would a guy exactly go ahead and marry a girl going around in one of those low waist jeans and tiny shoulder less tops and heavy make up…Well maybe they would…I don’t know..On a sudden thought why am I writing this post…I’m confused!!!

But come to think of it…have a feeling looks matter all the time…personal life or professional life….Then why do they say looks don’t matter, it is what inside that does??