Continuing my 5 day trip thoughts…I have been branded as “not having the correct perspective or attitude” by one of my uncles. Obviously what he is referring to is the BIG Marriage factor. According to this person and many others back home the only thing that is delaying my marriage is my attitude towards it. Hmm…Quite a thought!
Well first let me look at the attitude I portray to others. I never thought I project any image to anyone on this issue. Whenever anyone asks a question even remotely concerned with this issue all I do is “Smile”. Now that is definitely a positive outlook no matter which book you read. And I don’t crib aloud to anyone saying “ Oh god! Why are things delaying so much? Why is it happening to me? Why don’t you guys do something about this? How long will I stay like this? “ etc etc. Reason why I don’t do it is firstly I don’t want it to sound like a mega serial episode and secondly I don’t want to lie. And obviously lying is bad according to all other books I’ve read and people I’ve heard.
Now the feeling behind the smile, what I think that I’ll never voice in front of anyone who seems to be thinking about this issue….is that “I just don’t care!!!” Yes that’s the feeling I have developed over time. What I want of life is to be happy and ask me anytime now - “ I am happy”.
I can’t think of adjusting to life anymore or making adjustments for the sake of adjusting. I am happy, more happy than any other time in my life. I have people around me who care for me and share my joys and sorrows. When I go to all the temples for Mom these days and she tells me to pray with all my heart, I know she is referring only “Let my marriage happen soon.” But I actually do pray with all my heart, “ To keep me happy.” That’s just what I want of the power above me and from all those with me too!!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Random Thoughts - I
I’m finally back from home after what seemed like a vacation to me. 5 days at home , has been ages since I’ve been home for a stretch like this. Well over all, the vacation was good I should say. It really gave me food for thought.
So this is going to be a string of random thoughts.
The thought that bothered me the most is that I lost what I valued the most, probably I was proud of the most. The concept of joint family!! I boasted about this when I was in college and school or maybe even till last year. All cousins coming together, everyone having food at the ancestral home, noise, fun.. I thought this was norm and it would always be like this. Yeah, a foolish thought! I didn’t know that the tide would change soon.
With my grandmother’s death and the head of family gone the chain that bound us together was broken. This year everyone was mute about getting together. All seemed to be happy with their own family. This was just not what I expected.
Nuclear family seems to have taken over life. Everyone is only concerned for their immediate family. Maybe due to various reasons. Some say this is the only time they get with their family. Some say that it is too much stress to work so much. Some don’t have anything to say.
Well there is something I want to say to my elders. You could say many things starting, “In our days it used to be like this….” Now I can boldly say that in your days no one was together. In our days don’t’ expect the same. I am really sad that we are splitting ways.
So this is going to be a string of random thoughts.
The thought that bothered me the most is that I lost what I valued the most, probably I was proud of the most. The concept of joint family!! I boasted about this when I was in college and school or maybe even till last year. All cousins coming together, everyone having food at the ancestral home, noise, fun.. I thought this was norm and it would always be like this. Yeah, a foolish thought! I didn’t know that the tide would change soon.
With my grandmother’s death and the head of family gone the chain that bound us together was broken. This year everyone was mute about getting together. All seemed to be happy with their own family. This was just not what I expected.
Nuclear family seems to have taken over life. Everyone is only concerned for their immediate family. Maybe due to various reasons. Some say this is the only time they get with their family. Some say that it is too much stress to work so much. Some don’t have anything to say.
Well there is something I want to say to my elders. You could say many things starting, “In our days it used to be like this….” Now I can boldly say that in your days no one was together. In our days don’t’ expect the same. I am really sad that we are splitting ways.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Poetry in Hindi (a poor attempt)
ख्यालों से गुज़र्कर कभी वो मेरे दिल पे दस्तक देता है
निगाहे चुराके भी वो मेरे नज़रों मे समाता है
कुछ कहना था शायद उसको
फिर भी होंट है सिले हुए
कदम बडाता है वो धीरे से
पास आता है एक झोंके कि तरह
एक अंगारा सा है सीने मे
फिर भी साँसे हल्के है
ए अजनबी तुम कौन हो .....
निगाहे चुराके भी वो मेरे नज़रों मे समाता है
कुछ कहना था शायद उसको
फिर भी होंट है सिले हुए
कदम बडाता है वो धीरे से
पास आता है एक झोंके कि तरह
एक अंगारा सा है सीने मे
फिर भी साँसे हल्के है
ए अजनबी तुम कौन हो .....
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Nothing in the world is constant but change!
Whenever I pick call these days from friends I haven’t spoken to for sometime and they ask what’s happening, I say all’s the same. To get time to a lower span every week when I call my parents and they ask for news again it’s all the same! I hear people cribbing for a change in life, people doing crazy things on impulse just because life is the same, married people going astray in want of change….all sort of things!!!
I’ve always thought everyone loves change in their lives. I’ve never thought otherwise. Could it be that there could be people who didn’t want change in life? Well to think of it from another point of view there might be many who don’t like change.
They follow the same routine everyday. The same positioning of things, the same route they take, similar eating habits, similar dressing habits, everything constant. Is hating change fearing the unprepared? Do they like to be systematic in everything they do? Reminds me of people planning pregnancy for an auspicious time of birth and according to school admissions!!!
Change can be fearsome but sometimes that is what carries life forward. I don’t want to be leading a new life everyday but I would love something new to be happening often. Tomorrow when on the judgment day I don’t want to think back and say, “Hey there’s nothing different I’ve done since a long time.” Nor do I wish I want any desires left unturned at the end of the journey.
I’ve always thought everyone loves change in their lives. I’ve never thought otherwise. Could it be that there could be people who didn’t want change in life? Well to think of it from another point of view there might be many who don’t like change.
They follow the same routine everyday. The same positioning of things, the same route they take, similar eating habits, similar dressing habits, everything constant. Is hating change fearing the unprepared? Do they like to be systematic in everything they do? Reminds me of people planning pregnancy for an auspicious time of birth and according to school admissions!!!
Change can be fearsome but sometimes that is what carries life forward. I don’t want to be leading a new life everyday but I would love something new to be happening often. Tomorrow when on the judgment day I don’t want to think back and say, “Hey there’s nothing different I’ve done since a long time.” Nor do I wish I want any desires left unturned at the end of the journey.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Happy Independence Day!!
Well today India celebrates 60 years of Independence. Maybe we may not have the same feelings our grandparents would have on this day. Maybe it is just another day passed with the usual routine of flag hoisting in educational institutions, holidays and ethnic wear for corporate and patriotic movies through the day on television (I'm looking forward to see Roja on TV for the umpteenth time ).
I don’t think I can pen the changes these 60 years have brought to our motherland (Well I leave that to the newspapers and news channels) but yes… I definitely can say what living in independent India means to me!!!
Today India is where I can speak my heart out ( Hmm...most of what I say is nonsense so who cares) and no one questions me as to why I have spoken thus. Still India is where I lower my voice in front of my elders and feel hurt when my dad scolds me!
Today I can travel to any part of the world thanks to the infrastructure laid down (and now a days pay dirt cheap for travel) but still my heart longs to be at home in the midst of the land that is mine…
Even though I see poverty and corruption around me I also see the light of hope in the eyes of the million who live around me that Yes! Someday all will be well!
India is where I love to eat Chinese momos, Continental steak and Italian Pizzas (put on all the calories and look to foreign machines to loose it too) but at the end of the day love to eat mom’s dal chavval any day- any time!
India is where we have lakhs of jobs for outsourcing work of other countries. We speak in different accents (sometimes doing a bad job too) and to global customers. Still when we speak to someone close to our heart it's always mother tongue first..
However today's India to me is a land where I can nourish my dreams and watch them turn true making my own choices, my decisions and on my own feet! I love Independent India!!!
I don’t think I can pen the changes these 60 years have brought to our motherland (Well I leave that to the newspapers and news channels) but yes… I definitely can say what living in independent India means to me!!!
Today India is where I can speak my heart out ( Hmm...most of what I say is nonsense so who cares) and no one questions me as to why I have spoken thus. Still India is where I lower my voice in front of my elders and feel hurt when my dad scolds me!
Today I can travel to any part of the world thanks to the infrastructure laid down (and now a days pay dirt cheap for travel) but still my heart longs to be at home in the midst of the land that is mine…
Even though I see poverty and corruption around me I also see the light of hope in the eyes of the million who live around me that Yes! Someday all will be well!
India is where I love to eat Chinese momos, Continental steak and Italian Pizzas (put on all the calories and look to foreign machines to loose it too) but at the end of the day love to eat mom’s dal chavval any day- any time!
India is where we have lakhs of jobs for outsourcing work of other countries. We speak in different accents (sometimes doing a bad job too) and to global customers. Still when we speak to someone close to our heart it's always mother tongue first..
However today's India to me is a land where I can nourish my dreams and watch them turn true making my own choices, my decisions and on my own feet! I love Independent India!!!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Penning anger out!!
Through life I have always had instances to site that money does not bring culture into a person and one such incident happened yet again last week. This is one of those cheap hostel stealing incident and the girl lashing her tongue out to blame the others that her things were missing…
Sad mishaps but the ironic part is this isn’t one of those poor-can’t meet ends damsel. This is a software engineer working for IBM and earning loads. Yeah I know there is some psychological imbalance that explains this status but then I wonder…Hey what the hell??
They have a great mind to think of everything under the sun but this is blamed on habitual stealing or mental imbalance!! Spends several Ks on beauty parlours and grooming but steals loose money left on the table, clothes left for drying and don’t mention what not!!
These are the ones who ridicule others that they have no money and say words with such ease. They make fun of those who save on money eating less, save by traveling by bus rather than auto to travel even less than a kilometer.
I accept there are some who genuinely may have this issue but that does not mean we can let go every one on the same ground!! I have always valued money because I’ve seen all phases of have and have not but never wanted to live beyond capabilities. I am happy as I am!!!
Sad mishaps but the ironic part is this isn’t one of those poor-can’t meet ends damsel. This is a software engineer working for IBM and earning loads. Yeah I know there is some psychological imbalance that explains this status but then I wonder…Hey what the hell??
They have a great mind to think of everything under the sun but this is blamed on habitual stealing or mental imbalance!! Spends several Ks on beauty parlours and grooming but steals loose money left on the table, clothes left for drying and don’t mention what not!!
These are the ones who ridicule others that they have no money and say words with such ease. They make fun of those who save on money eating less, save by traveling by bus rather than auto to travel even less than a kilometer.
I accept there are some who genuinely may have this issue but that does not mean we can let go every one on the same ground!! I have always valued money because I’ve seen all phases of have and have not but never wanted to live beyond capabilities. I am happy as I am!!!
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Happy Friendship Day
Friendship day… Again another day to remember all those friends who have been a part of your life… Again not that you need a day to acknowledge their importance in your life. When I was receiving all those SMS and mails over the last few days, I really wondered how to reply back.
These maybe friends I chat with once in a while, scrap when there is news to share or call once in a while. And I was really embarrassed to send them a deep friendship message that talked of walking the path of life through roses and thorns.
Then I began to wonder, is it that they don’t mean much to me? Is it that I don’t have feelings for them? No chance!! It’s just the way friendship is. The depth or meaning of friendship does not decrease with increase in distance (Hey! I still remember my inverse proportion law) But somehow the waves of life just takes us forward. Go to office, Come back, sleep… the routine repeats in a vicious circle. Sometimes when I sit back during the weekend, I remember old times and old friends and all the good times spent together!
Today what I am is a lot because of friends around me. Apart from my parents they have seen me through the walk of life. Habits, behaviour, tempers, outlook to life everything is what friends shaped them into. I value all of them the same.
But I guess the best friendships are those that end up with that once in a blue moon contact and still brings a smile to your face. Love you all!!!
These maybe friends I chat with once in a while, scrap when there is news to share or call once in a while. And I was really embarrassed to send them a deep friendship message that talked of walking the path of life through roses and thorns.
Then I began to wonder, is it that they don’t mean much to me? Is it that I don’t have feelings for them? No chance!! It’s just the way friendship is. The depth or meaning of friendship does not decrease with increase in distance (Hey! I still remember my inverse proportion law) But somehow the waves of life just takes us forward. Go to office, Come back, sleep… the routine repeats in a vicious circle. Sometimes when I sit back during the weekend, I remember old times and old friends and all the good times spent together!
Today what I am is a lot because of friends around me. Apart from my parents they have seen me through the walk of life. Habits, behaviour, tempers, outlook to life everything is what friends shaped them into. I value all of them the same.
But I guess the best friendships are those that end up with that once in a blue moon contact and still brings a smile to your face. Love you all!!!
Friday, August 3, 2007
Thank You note!
It takes a lot of difficulty to say grave things. It becomes even more difficult to say serious things to people who are not intimate to you. And the worst is when you have to say something in that tone to someone you have hardly spoken to. Personally I have never done something like that. I make a lot of friends but hardly make any by putting my front foot forward. Of late I did make friendship with one such person. Well I hardly know even if it is friendship, but yes I broke inhibitions and my frame of mind towards that person.
This was a person who told me a simple thing with a simple example. We have a lot of friends around us. We interact with customers who are miles away from us. Our job says to go the extra mile and help those customers. Come to think of it, they are distance away, they don’t know us or we know them personally. So why should we take that extra mile road. Is it just for money? Just for a compliment? No, deep inside there is something called mental satisfaction.
Maybe that’s exactly what prompts us to do good for someone we don’t know. I was really confused with all this. I was like, “Ok! You did something good to help me, but now why are you telling me this?” I got a nice answer for that too. By doing this for you I have helped you, so better not disappoint me by not seizing the opportunity to prove yourself! Hmm… I was really happy after the conversation!
It makes me think…There maybe loads of people who have done good to me in some way or the other. Some I would have known, some I would not even know. I’d really thank all those people…Love you all!!!
This was a person who told me a simple thing with a simple example. We have a lot of friends around us. We interact with customers who are miles away from us. Our job says to go the extra mile and help those customers. Come to think of it, they are distance away, they don’t know us or we know them personally. So why should we take that extra mile road. Is it just for money? Just for a compliment? No, deep inside there is something called mental satisfaction.
Maybe that’s exactly what prompts us to do good for someone we don’t know. I was really confused with all this. I was like, “Ok! You did something good to help me, but now why are you telling me this?” I got a nice answer for that too. By doing this for you I have helped you, so better not disappoint me by not seizing the opportunity to prove yourself! Hmm… I was really happy after the conversation!
It makes me think…There maybe loads of people who have done good to me in some way or the other. Some I would have known, some I would not even know. I’d really thank all those people…Love you all!!!
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