No change???

Sometimes life gets adjusted to no change at all. They say that change is the only thing in life that is constant. Wonder if that is so. Now life has become so stagnant that I am adjusted to the fact that nothing happens.

I am actually scared of change now. There are so many possibilities that change can bring that I am anxious about it. I am afraid that I may not live up to the expectations that it demands. There is one cult of people who say what happens in your life is what you do. Depending on your actions life goes forward. There is another cult who says that there is fate above all that decides your path.

I have always been confused as to which category I belong to. I believe in myself. I believe that I have the ability to change my life or do things according to what I want it to be. I have faced life in such a way that I have brought myself into just the scenarios that I wanted both personal and at work.

But still there is some force inside me that believes in fate. Fate that has bought me here. Fate that has brought me to where I am and what I am. I still am stuck at the crossroad where I don’t know whether I want to turn life to where I want it to go or should I leave fate to take its stride and wait for what it has in store for me.

To write or not to write....

I have been bored or maybe plain busy. I think about my blog every day (or precisely night I should say) and think that why the hell am I not writing anymore.

No it is not that nothing is happening. Lots of things are happening on the professional and personal front. There are so many thoughts in my head everyday that I get psyched thinking of them everyday....but still I don't write..

I further ponder as to what the reasons could be. I think that life is transitioning. i feel that rather than talking what is on your mind and causing debates, keeping mum is the easier way out. Being like that in every day life has affected my blog as well. I feel I don't have to share anything with anyone. (Maybe I should try anonymous blogging) . sometimes I feel no one would be interested. Sometimes I feel that I don't feel anything at all.

But again when I think of this space something inside (and by now it's very deep inside) makes me want to write again. If not for anything else at least for lightening the thoughts that run through my head everyday. And thus I am back as a first step!