Friday, August 31, 2007

Random Thoughts- II

Continuing my 5 day trip thoughts…I have been branded as “not having the correct perspective or attitude” by one of my uncles. Obviously what he is referring to is the BIG Marriage factor. According to this person and many others back home the only thing that is delaying my marriage is my attitude towards it. Hmm…Quite a thought!

Well first let me look at the attitude I portray to others. I never thought I project any image to anyone on this issue. Whenever anyone asks a question even remotely concerned with this issue all I do is “Smile”. Now that is definitely a positive outlook no matter which book you read. And I don’t crib aloud to anyone saying “ Oh god! Why are things delaying so much? Why is it happening to me? Why don’t you guys do something about this? How long will I stay like this? “ etc etc. Reason why I don’t do it is firstly I don’t want it to sound like a mega serial episode and secondly I don’t want to lie. And obviously lying is bad according to all other books I’ve read and people I’ve heard.

Now the feeling behind the smile, what I think that I’ll never voice in front of anyone who seems to be thinking about this issue….is that “I just don’t care!!!” Yes that’s the feeling I have developed over time. What I want of life is to be happy and ask me anytime now - “ I am happy”.

I can’t think of adjusting to life anymore or making adjustments for the sake of adjusting. I am happy, more happy than any other time in my life. I have people around me who care for me and share my joys and sorrows. When I go to all the temples for Mom these days and she tells me to pray with all my heart, I know she is referring only “Let my marriage happen soon.” But I actually do pray with all my heart, “ To keep me happy.” That’s just what I want of the power above me and from all those with me too!!


Deeps said...

Your attitude is what will keep you sane at such a time. I know what its like. I was "seeing" boys for more than 3 years when I found my hubby. I have a friend who "suffered" through more than 5 years of the same before she found her spouse. She had an interesting debate going over the same here.

You might have heard this from lots of people, but its just a matter of time. You just need to find that person, where everything suddenly clicks. But you have to filter through dust and grime before you find that "gem" ;-). Keep heart and neglect people. They'll always have something to say in "your" life :-p.

Deeps said...

One more thing, all moms are like that. Moms are worried more about what the society will think if the marriage doesn't happen soon, than what her daughter thinks :-p. I remember the pressure was so much when I was still looking that I actually went on a trek (with a group where I knew no one) just to get away from it all. I felt really relieved and light-hearted just because there was nobody talking to me about marriage ;-) :-D.

Nevertheless, remember that your mom does have your best interest at heart..

amna said...

great going! i am so proud of your strength!! and i really mean that :)