Continuing my 5 day trip thoughts…I have been branded as “not having the correct perspective or attitude” by one of my uncles. Obviously what he is referring to is the BIG Marriage factor. According to this person and many others back home the only thing that is delaying my marriage is my attitude towards it. Hmm…Quite a thought!
Well first let me look at the attitude I portray to others. I never thought I project any image to anyone on this issue. Whenever anyone asks a question even remotely concerned with this issue all I do is “Smile”. Now that is definitely a positive outlook no matter which book you read. And I don’t crib aloud to anyone saying “ Oh god! Why are things delaying so much? Why is it happening to me? Why don’t you guys do something about this? How long will I stay like this? “ etc etc. Reason why I don’t do it is firstly I don’t want it to sound like a mega serial episode and secondly I don’t want to lie. And obviously lying is bad according to all other books I’ve read and people I’ve heard.
Now the feeling behind the smile, what I think that I’ll never voice in front of anyone who seems to be thinking about this issue….is that “I just don’t care!!!” Yes that’s the feeling I have developed over time. What I want of life is to be happy and ask me anytime now - “ I am happy”.
I can’t think of adjusting to life anymore or making adjustments for the sake of adjusting. I am happy, more happy than any other time in my life. I have people around me who care for me and share my joys and sorrows. When I go to all the temples for Mom these days and she tells me to pray with all my heart, I know she is referring only “Let my marriage happen soon.” But I actually do pray with all my heart, “ To keep me happy.” That’s just what I want of the power above me and from all those with me too!!